Big shout out to the natural justice of the interior

Why do some get to be kings?
Let me plot a course to paradise
Let me laugh with you in the endless sun
Let the waterfall of selfless control take us on a heart jumping fun ride
The safety of the garden, for the security of the universe
When will ghettos turn into the homes of all the human family?
Take a little interest in the sundaes and the ice cream
The warm velvet interior runs its course through your cities of self doubt
Tall and chrome flat and long swimming pools
Why do some get to be kings?
Its beautiful bravado, the grace of a tall acceptance, as the panther stands his ground
The velocity of your thoughts and actions, fly 5, 000 yards in a single breath
leave your heart under heaven.
The reels of cartoon memories, sweet waves of candy cultured endless justice.
You don’t have to wait till it comes, it’s already hear
That fast lane with wind rolling its fingers through your hair

life is being missed, but not always

Not the best day on earth. Perhaps not the worst. Flikin through myspace pages, seems souless. Never really understood the cool thing, my heart ends up dripping blood from my sleeve, their fine, they just don’t give enough soul. Which begs the question what am I looking for, I forgot today seems like pornography and sandwiches and t.v. oh well. Maybe I’ll go for a swim try and shake of some of this dwam. Love to all

love to all

Ran in to john fletcher. He's a teacher now.He had to give a kid a punishment exercise, the kid through it in the bin. that was his story for today nice old john. Asked if he wanted to for a quick one. he refused, asked for his new number, the pen would not write on the paper. "the gods are against us, he says" I've no more energey for john i'm afraid. What I do have energey for is this writing class tonight, not so much to become a writer, but just to get out with new people. Some of them seemed alright to me, very open. wanting to make a go of it. Nice to be around. Those that want to get out of the house. it's 4:30 right now it starts at seven I'm choking for a pint. or some form of interaction. Found out my course out at paisly was statrting not on my birthday but on the 19th. Again we'll have to see what it holds. I just want to let go of the past, do some new things and meet some new people. I've been walking around singing a lot with my ear phones in, it's been good, I still have some fear, but it seems to be less marked than before. I guess I should just stay in the moment as much as I can. May I be happy may I be well, may I be free from suffering. May you be happy may you be well may you be free from suffering.

the perfect swimming pool

we lavish them with sweets. we lift them high in to the summer sun. Thier ours and we are gonna do this right. Not for one second will we forgett how much we love them. Not even through the dark pressures of a january afternoon. The sun of May will be with us always. It's when they touched our lives. a loft again toward the chery blosom may sunshine. We vow never to return from public houses in a coocon of broken pity. These ones will walk on grass without glass. All in time they will hear of the dark, menace of the rooks caw, and the embitered sunless glow of the tv tan. Not from our hands though. But we will make mistakes. let thier lives be filled with beaches, hill sides, light, and the california blue of the perfect swimming pool.

head turrning like a tumble dryer budhha

Thoughts and feelings are weaving novel patterns today. As they do everyday.I have a bit of the old unsettledness goin on, but a general over all feeling of things, being alright, exiting, full of life. unsettledness, exitement, fear, hope, anticipation. I'm away in the past and the future quite a lot. chewing over the whole finbar thing, part pf me wants to come up with an overall, easy answer resolution. of I was right to do what I did or I was wrong to do what I did. I'm not gonna get a yes or no. I have to just feel the uncertainty I guess. The uncertanties about, they keept me restless last night, as I meandered from city to city within my mind. Hey may I be happy, may I be well, may I be free from suffering. If anybody else can see this may you be free may, may you be well, may you be free from suffering

I heal and move on

Spent yesterday in one of the most dark hangovers i've felt in quite sometime. had a fall out with my friend finbar the night before, which was sadly long overdue. In short we are not living up to each others expectation of what it like to be a friend I gave him an ear full. People in the pub told us to be quiet. He took off. It really hurts that I've done this. I do feel regrett, but it is also difficult to continue with the wounds of carrying on a friendship that is long past it's sell by date. If that wasn't enough I also was at a rockabilly club, It I lost it, started telling everybody at the top of my lungs how boring they all where and how unrock and roll it is. I was totaly gased. Things could have gotten out of hand but they didn't. thanks only to the grace of god . The thing is I think through all my collapsed and distorted perception I was picking up the feeling of an even older friend who at times I feel just left me in the dust when I needed him most. He used to go to nights like this, art school openings, goth nights. Things I feel that could often be sexy and mysterious, but a few years ago I realised that thier is very little behind the facade. The styles don't suggest a gate way to a profounder truth it's just style. This as not upset me for a long time, but I guess that I still wish thier was smoething thier. It's only the inside and not externally where these profound truths, and eureaks can be experienced. I forgott that in quite a marked way. I just really want to let go of the past 10 years heal and move on. Lessons learned: I don't know. I think I'd like to check in with a councellor, and see where I'm at. Despite these two deeply unpleasnt experinces. The night was not a total blow out I feel really close to my familly at the moment it was great fun. My parents and my brother are the some of the kindest people on the planet. I'm so lucky

tv, friends, memories and politics

watchin the taliban on the tele. Suicide bomber preparing to go do the business. wow the music is amazing arabic with the reverb turned up to 11. yes I pray for peace for all men when I'm at my best or worst depending on which side of me is doing the comentary, but that is beautiful music real heart music. Anyway, missed my writing class last night. Hung over, could not be arsed. Hope I fell more up for it next week. I don't really feel like doing very much when I've got a hang over, but it sure is fun getting drunk. Just had wee feeling that the spirt of my friend Mike entered the room. He loved a good drink, we both did. I still do.I miss him. A mental picture of the drive way of his home in Philipeans, followed by a thought of the smooth summer tarmac of his childhood house in Doylestoen PA. The ramp he built out the back in the woods, the trips in to philly...Torries took a lot of seats down south Boris might be mayor, Rangers are in the final of the UEFA Cup. The wheels of the cosmose are turning. Some will be happy some won't. Constant change is hear to stay. personally I'm glad things are changeing. It means that Scotland may find even more momentum to go it alone. National conciouness could change to something different, hopfully more upbeat everyone with a feeling of greater contoll of thier own destiny. News now talking about the olympics, Christ China, I think they view the world differently than we do, in a good and bad way. I mean it is the home of the tao, which is great that the subtle energies of just being alive is cellibrated, on the other hand,
tibet, olympics, economics, makes me gulp what will become of it all. anyway its a woderful spring evening, a nice cup of tea, tele, I wonder what's on.....