just a litttle ramble for a day

a moment of tightness and distrust. Just a moment mind. not a whole day or even a wee ten minute dwam. Just a moment. Men, the stand off that we all have with each other. Friendship real frienship through these momentary stand offs. It is possible it can't be beat when it happens. When I was a kid half of my class at school would come to my birthday parties. It is not that way now. I have spent more than one summer in the swamp of distrust. I know it all to well. Probably with good reason too I found myself in that place. the cynical but idealistic punk rock teenager turns to the bitter carved in stone adult hood abosolutes of what I like and don't like, what is tolerable and what sends me in to a rage. Haveing known a bit about this for a while I have found some relif in the ideas of person centered councelling: the acceptance of self the bright shiny bits and the parts that seem to have little to be celebrated. The way those to seeming oppsistes seem to be at odds with each other the way they work together. The artists that celebrate and curse this bitterness, the ideas of the budhha that sit with this bitterness. Life